A Chocoholic’s Dream

Back on board we cover miles and miles of dead straight track proving once and for all the Incas were influenced by Roman road building techniques.

Once again I am reminded of the age old adage: If God had meant us to fly, he would never have given us the railways!

We pass by endless pineapple, cocoa and sugar cane plantations and finally are allowed out to visit a cocoa and cattle farm. We are shown all the steps in the manufacture of Cadbury’s finest, though the addition of those most important whole hazelnuts is omitted.

It turns out chocolate does grow on trees

Then we are treated to a very fine lunch

and an unconvincing demonstration of cow milking, Ecuadorian style.

Later we are back on board and then meet up with another steam engine, all red and shiny. Peter gets to stand on the footplate and is now in a state of delirious ecstasy.

Unfortunately we are joined by Ecuadorian musicians

who regale us with endless ditties forcing a number of passengers to throw themselves off the train and realising myself that one of the big advantages of hearing aids is that when one removes the batteries they become very effective ear plugs.

We roll into Guayaquil and say goodbye to those off to parts unknown while the hardcore observation deck attendees go out to dinner at a BBQ joint where we eat large hunks of meat.

It Doesn't Get Better Than This

We arrive early at the station and after our mandatory 2 hour calisthenic session

we board our train now being pulled by a steam engine.

What is it about being on the observation deck of a steam hauled train, travelling in brilliant sunshine past stunning scenery that gives one such a surge of endorphins?(Rhetorical question).

Bodyguard

This must be the happiest group of train passengers in the world

, apart from the couple who spend their day with their heads buried in their phones and ipads(I kid you not). We have numerous views of Chimborazo, the highest mountain on earth (just measure it from the centre of the earth).

We need to stop every 15 minutes in order to rest our ancient engine and eventually we have a longer break to visit the oldest church in Ecuador and I can attest to the readers it certainly is old.

Double superlative-oldest church,highest mountain

There is also a traditional craftsman sculpting nicky nacky noos out of some weird coconut like fruit.

We continue on now using diesel power and stop at a town for the local market. To say this was colourful would be the understatement of the century. There is an amazing variety of foods and stuff, however the locals do not like being photographed, so this must be done surreptitiously-yes, I know, very culturally insensitive of me.

Nice wool trousers

Consult with the local shaman

I manage to score a delicious serve of chicken rice

Chicken rice

but do not have enough room for the hornado.

Hornado

The train continues through ever changing landscapes and down the main streets of towns and villages. magnamanious magamanicus manamanicus generous wave of our hands.

The locals are overjoyed to have us wave at them and we feel like Ecuadorian Mother Teresas as we bring a frisson of joy into their otherwise miserable, pathetic little lives with just a simple wave of our hands.

Then it is on to the next big ticket item:

THE DEVIL’S NOSE!!!

 This is a way the train can get down a mountain by performing a number of zig-zags, reversing at each zig or zag (I’m sorry but I can’t be clearer than that). There is great excitement on board especially from the train tragics amongst us.

There are precipitous drops everywhere but we feel very safe because we know we are protected by the result of finest Ecuadorian engineering and technology.

Half an hour later the train comes off the rails, accompanied by much flying crockery and glassware.

The staff on board reassure us that we do not have to worry as this is not an uncommon occurrence. The tragics have now lifted their moods to the ecstasy level! Anyway with the judicious use of rocks we are once again railborne.

I don’t believe there is a better way to travel than on this train. Incidentally we have now seen the devil’s throat, the devil’s ear and now the devil’s nose-South America is a diabolical, otolaryngological paradise.

We spend the night in a “hacienda” and invite our new best friend, Peter for some pre-dinner whisky. We later discover that the couple above us have requested another room as they do not wish to be kept awake by the bar downstairs.

We share our dinner with the local insect population and then discover that we have drunk the bar dry-not a difficult feat as it contained just 2 bottles of wine.